5 Surprising Reasons Why Popular Work/Life Balance Advice Fails Business Parents — And What Works Instead
Cristina was visibly annoyed.
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Dear readers and parents,
She shook her head, leafed through the magazine again, and closed it.
“That’s complete garbage,” she replied, “it has nothing to do with real life”
Fathers and mothers are challenged. Having children is still the greatest wish for many couples. The big dream is to have their own family. And somehow most of them settle into the new situation when children demand their attention.
But beware if the parents also have their own company.
Successful business mothers like Cristina, with whom I recently had a discussion, are increasingly appalled by the absurd advice. On blogs and in magazines, authors outdo each other with well-intentioned guides to work/life balance.
The intentions are good. But they usually reveal one thing after just a few sentences.
The authors themselves have never experienced the situations they describe.
Here are the most common reasons why such advice doesn’t work.
One-Size-Fits-All Solutions Ignore Individual Needs
Comparing one family to another is complete nonsense. About as useful as comparing a tropical rainforest with Siberian forests in the taiga.
They are simply too different to come to any sensible conclusions.
And that’s exactly how these tips are written. Far too general.
Like a family of lawyers having the same business problems as a family running a construction company.
And that leads us to the second common reason.
Lack of Realistic Time Management Strategies
“Time management?” Cristina laughed out loud. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Our best plan to get through the day is to have no plan”.
General advice about efficient time management usually doesn’t take into account the unexpected. And leaves parents alone in their frustration. As good as strict schedules sound, they are often just wishful thinking.
The fact that the eight-year-old son has just beaten up a colleague was not on the agenda. And the principal wants to see the father now. Not next week…
Especially for business parents who have to juggle children’s wishes, children’s needs, and business meetings, inflexible time suggestions are a mockery.
They rarely take into account the fact that days can change in seconds.
And are therefore usually completely useless.
The same applies to the next reason.
Underestimating the Emotional Challenges of Parenthood
The most important customer has just phoned to say that the collaboration has to be discontinued.
“How can news like that not affect the mood in the family?” Cristina knows from her own experience how important it is not to involve the family too heavily in what is happening at the company. And yet. You can’t do it without it.
Being in a bad mood after such a phone call is normal. Hiding it from the children is difficult and often not feasible for long.
Life/balance advice that pays no attention to emotional rollercoaster rides is unrealistic. Business parents feel misunderstood and left alone with such advice. Instead of helping, they lead to even more isolation.
And isolation is not only a problem as a family but also on an individual level.
Here is the next reason.
Neglecting the Importance of Personal Time
In the vast majority of advice, not a word is wasted on the importance of personal time. The interplay between business and family is exhausting. If you don’t start looking after yourself early enough, you are living dangerously.
Parents who are more or less obviously heading for burnout are much more common than we think.
Cristina can tell you a thing or two about it. “My husband and I are both very independent personalities. We both need our downtime. It took us a long time to realize that my yoga classes and his fishing trip led to more peace and balance in the whole family”.
An hour invested in yourself is much more than the sum of 60 minutes in total.
Overemphasis on Productivity at the Expense of Well-being
Anyone who is not productive these days does not exist. Sometimes quite literally. Society and our working world make us believe in a perfect world of constant enjoyment. But only those who are productive deserve this world. Always wanting more has its price. And the price is almost always “loss of health”.
Sometimes unexpectedly and violently…
Most work/life balance advice focuses too much on productivity. And usually at the expense of personal well-being. As a result, parents often push themselves too hard and neglect their own needs. To achieve short-term family goals, this is certainly fine. But, it’s never sustainable in the long term.
Rushing after the general trend of wanting more and more does not usually lead to the satisfaction we hope for.
Here again, are the 5 reasons why work/life advice for business parents is mostly useless:
One-Size-Fits-All Solutions Ignore Individual Needs.
Lack of Realistic Time Management Strategies.
Underestimating the Emotional Challenges of Parenthood.
Neglecting the Importance of Personal Time.
Overemphasis on Productivity at the Expense of Personal Wellbeing
So what’s the recipe?
The mischievous smile on Cristina’s face made me curious about her answer.
“Well, actually, it’s simple,” she replied.
And she began to lecture passionately. Not to say she went into a rage.
To summarize her rant, I can interpret it as something like this:
People stop listening to the so-called experts. Especially social media experts and family gurus. Most of them have never been in family and business situations at the same time.
Interestingly, well-intentioned advice for a better work/life balance often comes from people who, on closer inspection, don’t have any experience with it.
And what business father or entrepreneurial mom has the time to write a book?
It seems advisable to regularly involve yourself and the other family members in joint decisions. Discuss difficult business situations with the children. They often understand it much better than their parents think. And show a willingness to do without something. For the good of the whole family. And this family welfare is very diverse and unique in the constellation.
I have noticed one thing about my own family: my son remembers times and experiences spent together very well and passionately. He can hardly remember any lost business deals or financial worries that his parents had.
And that’s what we live for as a family. The outings, the hours we spend together. The moments that create memories.
How do you see it? What are your experiences with advice for business parents?
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