Dealing With Malicious People: Learning Resilience From a Crying Waitress
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Hi, freedom-loving reader!
Sometimes we experience situations that bother us and remind us of the past. This is one such story.
You know someone like this.
Nasty, frustrated, and always ready to start a terrible argument.
And often we can't avoid them. They are widespread in the workplace, among relatives, or as neighbors.
So the question is not how we can avoid nasty moments in life.
But rather: How do we deal with them?
When the waitress came to our table, her fingers were trembling.
The tears, hastily dabbed away and well hidden in a napkin, were no longer visible.
The eyes, however, were swollen.
Her smile was professional and seemed a little artificial.
Somewhat unsettled, we ordered our early dinner.
No one around us seemed to have noticed anything.
Two tables away, we heard him.
He loudly bragged to his colleagues about finishing the “stupid cow”.
He threw a few banknotes onto the table and left the garden terrace.
I thought I heard a collective sigh of relief.
Chewing on my pizza, I thought about what had happened.
What helps us deal with idiots?
The magic word is resilience.
Psychologists define resilience as adapting well to adversity. This includes trauma, tragedy, threats, and stress like:
- family and relationship problems
- serious health issues
- workplace
- and financial stressors
When our resilience is maxed out and our nerves are on edge, we see this as bad. We instinctively try to avoid such situations.
Resilience can help you manage and improve many parts of your life. It not only helps you handle tough situations but also gives you the power to grow and make your life better.
Being strong doesn't mean you won't have hard times. People who've had tough experiences often feel hurt and stressed. In truth, becoming strong usually involves a lot of emotional upset.
Even though some people might be naturally more resilient,
it's not just a trait for a select few. Anyone can learn to be resilient. It's about practicing certain behaviors and ways of thinking. That's why research shows that resilience is common, not special.
This article will help you to understand resilience in detail.
(https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/building-your-resilience)
While we were paying our bill, the waitress told us what had occurred.
I won't bore you with all the details here. Just this much.
It was about a bottle of wine. The wrong vintage.
So it wasn't even a mistake by the waitress.
The mistake was printed on the drinks menu...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Many a person in the restaurant business are confronted with such guests.
I was too.
Young and inexperienced, but I had a lot more support.
Whenever critical situations arose, the owner immediately came to my aid.
She wouldn't tolerate anyone treating her staff badly or shouting at them.
Why is it always me?
Women in particular often blame themselves for unfair treatment.
And that is neither healthy nor helpful.
It is not uncommon for permanent self-doubt to lead to real existential crises.
Or even to a depression.
You can build a strong self-image.
No one is born with superhuman resilience.
You have to build it up over the years and with experience.
Like a muscle, you have to train it.
If you know exactly where you want to go and why, it's much easier.
Next step.
Why not help out a friend at the bar? Or work as a waiter at an event?
The catering industry is suffering from a shortage of staff.
Resilience is the special bonus you gain.
In addition to the actual salary.
Thank you for reading.
Wish you a resilient day and see you soon.
Yours,
Daniel
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