You Can’t Love What You Don’t Know.
Especially not yourself.
An entire industry thrives on one question!
This one question has been discussed in hundreds, no, thousands of blog posts, books, and podcasts:
"What is my purpose in life"
Have you asked yourself the same question?
Or even read books and attended seminars about it?
Unfortunately, I couldn't find any exact figures.
But a quick Google search for "Self-help books about Purpose in Life" yielded countless results published in 2023 alone!
I am in no way denying these books can help.
But isn't this hype exaggerated?
How can I know what I love if I don't know enough?
Broadening horizons
To put it simply, we can divide the active adult part of society into two groups:
- The hyperactive seekers
- The coach potatoes who wait
I call the hyperactive seekers (not entirely without envy) those who find the energy to chase after activities every free minute.
From trips to art museums to skydiving in the Dolomites.
Everything that can be packed into a weekend or short vacation is "done".
There's nothing wrong with that.
But is this "being active" neurosis the easiest way to find meaning in life?
The Coach Potatoes have a different strategy for finding meaning in life.
Their motto is to bide their time and wait for inspiration from the universe.
They believe video games, Netflix marathons, and the ritual weekend bender will bring enlightenment.
At some point, the muse will kiss them and a successful, fame-filled life will inspire humanity.
And I don't even deny that this happens on rare occasions!
A possible middle way
Experience in my environment shows me there is nothing wrong with actively shaping your life.
As long as it doesn't lead to permanent mental stress.
With constant activity, the body and even more so the brain struggle to keep up with the search for meaning in life.
We need breaks!
Reference books often say it takes about a thousand hours of practice to learn a new skill.
Languages, crafts, and many sports are good examples of this.
However, the same authors also say it takes around 10,000 hours of practice to perfect a skill.
Very few people take the time or have the patience to invest in themselves.
1000 hours of self-examination?
Reading, trying things out, thinking about them - it all happens far too slowly.
And without realizing it, we turn off and book the next adventure weekend.
Hopefully, it will be as cool as the awesome dinghy trip down the river...?
The process starts with the right questions
If you want to get to know something (yourself), you have to invest time.
And the necessary patience.
This seems to be one of the advantages of aging: the impatience of the 20s and 30s subsides somewhat.
You become involved with the subject matter and learn.
Dealing with yourself is fun!
Anyone who starts to engage with their own body and mind will find surprising info.
The topics include healthy eating, disease prevention, and self-motivation.
Exciting.
And the more you get to know yourself, the more often you stumble down a rabbit hole.
You look down at it - and it fascinates you.
Recognizing and understanding yourself is the beginning.
With every realization about yourself, you start to accept yourself a little more.
"Yes, that's how it is" and "That's exactly how I react" give you confidence.
And security: you are not an alien - others feel the same way.
Slowly but surely, we start to like ourselves.
I have spent my entire adult life with people who wanted to improve themselves.
Be it in marketing, sales, or building an independent, free lifestyle.
One thing in the whole process was always the same: those of my course participants, students and team members who were serious about the subject matter fell in love.
They started asking the right questions.
They questioned existing patterns and everything they learned made much more sense.
People everywhere are looking for stability, meaning, and the big picture.
They often do this with growing desperation.
Without answering questions about themselves.
Questions like:
- Why am I where I am?
- What could give me more energy?
- What do I need to get to know myself better?
- Where could my path lead me?
- What skills have I already mastered?
- Which ones will help me on my path?
What is your situation? Do you ask yourself questions like these?
Or is your path clearly defined and you are traveling at the right pace towards your goal?
What next?
Let's start a discussion about your preferred way to get to know you better.
I am convinced that you can't love what you don't know.
This statement applies to all areas of our lives as human beings.
It applies equally to partners, countries, other people, cultures, professions, and leisure activities.
And it is especially true for yourself.
Start with yourself.
Get to know and love yourself.
Then carry this love within you and share it with those around you.
As always - thank you for reading and commenting!
Wish you a wonderful day, wherever you are on your journey.
Daniel
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